alright. i woke up at 11 today. probably exhausted over ytd's run. seriously. help.

well, was attempting to do up a small part of my endless hmk when some people called. somehow, i half expected it. lols. raf & shafik were bored and ended up coming over again. lols. so in the end i only managed to do 1 essay outline and study a little for chem. before they came over, i realised i was falling sick probably because i started sneezing a lot and my throat was pain and i didnt feel too good. damn it.

this is the result of having no mummy at home for more than a week. no one to force me to eat rice for dinner and no one to force me to eat fruits after dinner. eating rubbish for meals and not getting enough vitamins everyday has caused me to come down with a freaking cold! now my nose cant stop running. arghs. i miss my mom. her absence during this time has really made me realise how much i depend on her even for my daily activities. i miss my mom's cooking. arghs. sick. sick. sick.

ok. back to today. they bought old chang kee for me. or else i'd died from hunger because i ate cup mee for lunch. thanks! raf was playing audition. and i tricked him into playing flying duck for beat up. lols! then he played yahoo pool. shafik was making side comments. and they were 'fighting violently' which made me laugh a lot. shafik used msn... and was talking to edwin. i took over without edwin realising it. so i was talking to edwin and shafik told me to scold him all i want because it was his acc anyway! lol!! then we watched 'the prayer' on youtube. gosh, anthony callea is really good. then watched miss swan... which was damn funny. and seriously made people feel irritated. lols. they went off after that. i went in search for food. it's good to have friends over. or else i'd just rot away from boredom. thanks for providing me with accompaniment and entertainment. =)

listen here. i'm sorry i didnt want to talk to you today. i was sick and i dont like to talk when i have a sore throat. but that wasnt my only reason. i'm tired of begging you to do things. to shower you with so much attention as to keep begging you to come or whatever. if that's what you want, i'm sorry to say that i am not going to conform to it. i'm sick of the fact that you always go back on your word. i'm sick of the times where you said you were coming and didnt in the end. this has not happened once or twice. but so many times that it is impossible to count. stop giving people false hope. i know other people may be used to your habits. but let me tell you that i cant. i dont deny that i once used to do that, agree and back out at the last minute and provide a thousand and one excuses for not going. but i've stopped because i dont want people to do that to me. i'd be one bloody hypocrite if i did that. so if i really cant make it for something i'd tell the truth. and please do not give me cliched excuses. they're really really really attention seeking. you may say you dont want attention but let me tell you sub-conciously you do. yeah, i know everyone has their own problems but stop portraying self-pity. talk it out with others if you want. but stop showing off your so-called pitiful life to everyone. you're not the only one in this world. other people may be worse off than you. stop portraying yourself as an 'emo' youth. nothing good is going to come off it. and i'm sorry if i've hurt you. i want to tell you that i still treasure our friendship a lot. i just want to get all this, which i've been feeling for some time, off my chest.
*disclaimer: this is my own personal space. no need to comment unless this 'speech' is directed to you.

there. off to sleep before i come down with something worse than a cold tmr.~