aHhHhhHhhh!! oOoOoo!! wHoOoO! WaAAaAaAaaA!! in my blog, i can scream all i want. i've been having a sore throat the past few days. sexy voice. cant even sing anymore! no. i'm more than just a sore throat. i'm down with the cold.runny nose, cough, tiredness, sore throat... dieing here. i had to take panadol today. slept thru a math period. she didnt teach anything new anyway.

i almost died during ndp rehersal. so sick. we did it 3 times! and the 3rd time i almost fainted. so pisst lor. so late liao. ergh. yea.

had the musical celebration. i'm not supposed to be here. i'm supposed to be in school! but grace 4got to bring her shirt. so we wore sch u and went. planned to go home aft dinner. afterall, i'm still sick and having napfa challenge tmr!! if anyone wld to injure themselves...i'm sorry to say i cant take over. i'll probably get admitted into the hosp.

so we stayed for the singing part, the games part. played the bomb...kept bombing teachers. wanted them to clean up...cuz the forfeited grp had to clean up. then had the cheering part. stefanie led the boom chicka boom...damn funny. did it mrs tan's way..

boom shudup boom
boom shudup boom
boom shudup sit down shudup sit down shudup boom
shudup...
sit down...

hahahaah! so funny. sld have seen mrs tan's face. yea. then planned this item thing. "the spooth of the musical" wonder how it turned out. we musicians jooined the dancers. crazy people there. wanted to do the fighting scene i think.

went home with grace. she took cab. so i took one too. we waited till 8...cuz 7pm has extra 1 dollar. came home...and slack! lalalala.

yea. finally saturday tmr!! yeA!~

oh man. poor sqdmates. they have a million mosquito bites on their arms and legs.

the songs cant get outta my head. first is the cactus song. then is come dream with me. then testimony of his love. then the is this a nightmare song. then thru his eyes.

ok whatever. i think i'm falling sick. everyone ard me is sick! my partner, my mom, ruoyi, min weis, the band ppl...i'm dieing. lalalalala. i think i'm coming down with a sore throat and runny nose.

now let's see...oh yeah. i said i'll talk abt the musical right? yea. well. i have 2 big pimples thanx to make up. yea. 1st show was great. some screw ups here and there. but good. 2nd show, not that gr8 la. guess it was because like what mrs tan said, a bit machenical. last show was phenominal!! hahahahahahaha. ya. last show was the best. we started screaming aft that. well...i think it was gr8 lar. gonna miss all the funny ppl. and yolanda's cactus actions. haha. having a dinner on friday. cool. wonder what it'll be. packet rice? hAhA! nah. how abt a nice ballroom! hEe. anyway. yeA. made new friends there. guess it was a time for interaction as well.

i really have nothing to do. not that i'm slacking. i really cant find any work to do. cant find hmk. no hmk today. and no left overs to do. a math test was for once easier.well...cuz mr low set wan!! lalala. but it still has this ms lau-ish thing in the paper. ha.

3 tests next week. dont know why. ok. i'm so dead. a slight sore throat will turn into a serious one. nooOoOo!!~

yo! i'm back! actually...i'm back from no where. ya. haha. musical's over. was really gr8. talk abt it tmr. bz talking to my sqdmates. congrats to sharon.~

i didnt want to come online today. wanted to study physics. but i gave into temptation after studying 1 chapter.

well...i think it was a good decision. or not i'll not be able to come online till next sunday. being just 2 days away from farewell..i still have this farewell spirit in me. reading hEr blog almost made me cry. if my computer was in my room...i would cry my eyes out.

i wouldnt say farewell was very well done. i wouldnt say it was badly done either. but being a campfire, and being in the carpark, being the one who is organising, it's a totally different atmosphere. you dont really feel like crying. not all the time like in the past years. haha. well...i think not until constance ma'am started it.

but yeah. after reading her blog. i really feel like crying. i'm gonna miss 'em. how they lead, how they do things. taking over is a totally different matter. we're not sec2 anymore...we're not waiting for the next batch to take over....WE are taking over. it was every of our dream to take over. always dreaming of when we're taking over...when we don't need to suffer anymore. but now, i don't know about you. but i feel that i'm gonna miss how others manage the unit. we know nuts abt this. we didnt understudy.

and i think what gwen ma'am said is true. you don't treasure the np sessions when you're sec1 or sec2...but now...as we take over...treasure all the times you get to dawn on the uniform. yes. i am gonna do so (although the uniform is damn hot).

it's a whole new perspective now. well...i mean after the sec4s really leave. like...after ndp. wonder what it'll be like. wonder who are in what comittees. constance ma'am wants me to take over store. seriously speaking...i don't mind. tidying up the rifle range...hehe. nd i'll pick up all the dowel poles and the flagpole...and start getting emotional abt campcraft again. haha.

yes. i'll miss the sec4s. afterall, they've been with us since we were sec1s. they've been with us thru the punishments, chalets, camps, crazy moments, drills...so many. gonna esp miss those who i am or i was close to.

i feel so sad. don't know what to say. to batch 32, wish you all the best in everything...o's...etc.

(wish me luck for the next week ahead! starting this busy schedule again~)

7 days since i've blogged. well. i've been busy. VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY BUSY. all who's fault? yA. you may be able to guess. for those who cant, give you a hint. it's not np.

ok. ytd was farewell. so saD!!!!!! haha. yep. we were hMm. disorganised? oops. yeA. well, only a few cried. phEw. or else i'll start too. yep. was running ard here and there....serving. went home late. anyway, they took the mat frm the teacher's table. and me and xt didnt know. we threw it into the bin. oops! die. take out and wash. haha. put back and dry. lalalala.

not much time for interaction la. but felt like crying when yuling ma'am talked abt the time we cried. abt that story. and wanted to cry even more when gwen ma'am said she'll esp miss the cc team. aW man. really wanted to cry.

yeA. today went to school to prac. prac in the e.hall...hand was frozen. then stoned in the hall. on the way home...was with ruoyi, euodia, faith and a sec1...ruoyi was horny. talked abt...haha. yea. dunno how we came up with a half dress rehersal on monday. yea. wear half the clothing.

well...here's my programme for next week.

Monday: Full dressed rehersal at acsb
Tuesday: Photo taking
Wednesday: nothing yet. but maybe GOH practise?
Thursday: last rehersal
Friday: ATC!!! nah. musical of course.
Saturday: ATC!!! no. musical.
Sunday: finally! a break! no. go train for napfa challenge.

i'm busy. dont expect to see me online till next sunday. see ya!~

this is irritating. i'm sorry if i'm being irritating. but i am being irritated that's why i am this way.

don't talk to me about musical anymore. i want to hear none of it. seems like they all want me to join musical. and dun wan me to go atc? shit them la. it's my passion to go for atc.

anyway. Bible says "let not your heart be troubled" right? if you don't have the peace to do something, don't do it. if you don't have the peace to eat something, don't eat it. so, i dont feel at peace going for musical. so why am i still doing it? easy answer. i feel like i'm being forced to. i know they say what dun let peer pressure affect you. but what if i chose atc? i'll be black listed? i'll get into deep trouble. so they're indirectly forcing me to go 4 what i dont want. it's like...they say i have a choice. but actually i dont. why cant you just grant me the freedom of choice? i prefer atc, i love np more, i'd rather train up my stamina at camp rather that strain my fingers while playing the violin. yea. i know it was my fault i didnt say so earlier. but how can you totally blame me? i was told that i wasnt confirm in the thingy. so i didnt really seed the urgent need to go find her. so yes. what's the deal abt changing the programme? at the most just announce that there's a change. or dont let ppl know la. does it matter to strangers anyway?

this turned out to be longer than expected. but i wanna say....and i'm not afraid to say that...my heart will be with camp camp camp thruout this. i will never change my opinion of this. nEvEr. so too bad.

i shant say anymore. because i'll start crying again if i do.~

i think i've finally decided on something.

Camp. AtC. and here are my reasons. first and foremost, you think the officers will allow me not to go?

secondly, call me lazy. Musical needs practise. Atc...just go there and chiong and have fun!

thirdly, i got this feeling atc will be more fun. besides the punishments and the lack of sleep. duh right. camps are more fun. musical...you feel a sudden sense of great achievement after it finishes. but at the same time you feel like you have a great burden off your back.

forthly, if i go for musical, i either wont get to go for atc at all or i'll have to go with other areas. tell me, who feels safe going with other ppl you dont know? i mean, you'll feel lonely. yes. you make new friends. but having friends that you know well is better. good sqdmates that will care more abt you than any others.

Fifthly, i cant turn up for most of the musical practises. If i do, i'll miss GOH trainings and sec4 farewell. And i'm not directly involved in the musical. GOH is a yes. and sec4 farewell...we're in charge.

Sixthly, either you're committed to one or another. In this case, it can't be both.

Seventhly, rope obst and campcraft seems more appealing to me. Night walks...campfires...they all sound betta. yes. i know musical is a once in a lifetime thing. but so is sec3 atc. heard it's a lot different from sec2 atc. and i want my badge. haha.

Eighthly, i'll be missing and probably thinking of what i'll be doing at musical at atc, but i'll sure be angry and missing my sqdmates and jealous of them when they come back if i go for musical.

so there you go. 8 reasons as to why i chose atc. i don't know what ms loh's reaction will be if i tell her tmr. but if she insists i go for musical. it's not my prob anymore. i'll leave it to the 2 teachers to argue it out. i'll just tell her that i wanna go for atc.
if turaiya can quit from the main cast just to go for atc, why can't i? i'm not saying i'm not interested in violin anymore, but my decision is atc. you either be loyal to one or the other. in this case, i choose np. so don't try to change me decision. i'm promising myself i'll stick to it.~

dunno dunno dunno dunno dunno.

camp musical camp musical camp musical.

chinese chem chinese chem chinese chem.

everything! i forgot to bring home my chem book. die.

i don't wanna think about camp or musical. i'll talk about today. it's been 3 weeks since i've been back to my own church. after going to ncc for the past 3 weeks. was getting used to going to serangoon mrt at 9.50. anyway. aH. see la. not ard for 3 weeks. the youth led the whole worship thing today. and almost everything was run by the youths today. cool. even the message. hA. a bit of screw ups. but very well done for the first time. laAaAa.

i have tons of chinese to study tomorrow. sure, i would love to go watch spiderman tmr. but i have lots of cheng yu, yan yu and guan yong yu to learn! mrs goh wrote one thing on the board and the paper said another. how am i supposed to know how many to learn?

kinda looking forward to the sec4 farewell practise on tue. we're finally in charge. finally. wonder how it'll turn out. wonder who'll be the first to scold. and who'll be the fiercest. hEE

i decided to add this in...
goodness! *smacks head* why is everyone so bloody pisst abt training sessions? what's everyone's problem? just relax a bit can? hello?!? you think only you are damn tensed up? like everyone is! so just stop this abt what...so pisst...so disappointed abt this and that. complaining won't help. wanna make a difference? well do something about it! don't just sit in your chair and type it in your blog! (i'm referring to myself too. look at what i'm doing now.) yes. writing something in your blog may or may not wake ppl up. (eRm.i think i'm contradicting myself.)

ok. whatever. i'm getting too tensed with everything going on. just feel like asking someone to decide everything for me. something like the perfect decision? i don't wanna keep thinking of which one i should go for. i feel like i'm stuck somewhere between two walls...unable to move. so don't blame me if i'm cranky this July. i really have lots going thru my mind. Lord, please help me find the peace so that i'll be able to make the right decision. Thank you. ~

hAppY yOutH daY! hMm. teachers put up a good performance today. fashion show. nice. ms lau...so hip! if she dressed like that...maybe she wont look so old. hehe. quite chio oso. hMM. mrs tan was funny. haha. ms ferng. wHoOo!! she can shake man!! haha. ms ang so active. cool. looked good in the street wear.

anyway. yep. lessons lessons. and my time-table didnt change! eRgH! i'm stuck with double periods. and physics. cool. this is real cool. 1 week and we finished 2 chpts! 3 periods one chapt. today another 2...finished another. cool right? tests start next week. i'm so dead. with np np np...staying back almost everyday. how am i supposed to study for test?

speaking of np. today was ok la. time passed fast. thank god. my feet were killing me. sole cramp. ok. so we saw ThIs sec1 learning to march. i was trying to control myself frm even um cheo-ing. but i saw sharon shaking. so i started laughing. and yingle too. erm. ha. it's really funny. not that i kpo go look can? is right in front of me...i cant look away right? was really funny. after that laughed and laughed. haha.

whatever. i'm not in the best of mood now. no one is to piss me off. guess what. just when i started giving up the thought of attending musical...playing violin...ms loh gave me and grace the scores for musical. and that really stirred my feelings again. and now. i'm in a dilemma. i've counted. by the rate np trainings are going. i only have time to attend drips and draps of practise sessions...and only 1 full rehersal. and...AnD...even if i do practise...i cant even go? unless you allow me to go for atc with other areas? but still...i will be so lonely. so yes. musical...atc...musical...atc. dont try to convince to to go for either. cuz i really wanna go for both. i cant say which one i wanna go more. so dont attemp to say anything about persuading me.

as i said. july is a bad month. everything clashes. i'm either gonna go crazy. or physically breakdown. i hope july passes fast. really really really fast. get on to august!~

hurray!! *clap clap* i repaired the computer! turns out that there was some programme interfering with the IE. deleted it.

no time to type much. i'm growing older. i just forgot to polish my boots and badges! dead.~