this is irritating. i'm sorry if i'm being irritating. but i am being irritated that's why i am this way.

don't talk to me about musical anymore. i want to hear none of it. seems like they all want me to join musical. and dun wan me to go atc? shit them la. it's my passion to go for atc.

anyway. Bible says "let not your heart be troubled" right? if you don't have the peace to do something, don't do it. if you don't have the peace to eat something, don't eat it. so, i dont feel at peace going for musical. so why am i still doing it? easy answer. i feel like i'm being forced to. i know they say what dun let peer pressure affect you. but what if i chose atc? i'll be black listed? i'll get into deep trouble. so they're indirectly forcing me to go 4 what i dont want. it's like...they say i have a choice. but actually i dont. why cant you just grant me the freedom of choice? i prefer atc, i love np more, i'd rather train up my stamina at camp rather that strain my fingers while playing the violin. yea. i know it was my fault i didnt say so earlier. but how can you totally blame me? i was told that i wasnt confirm in the thingy. so i didnt really seed the urgent need to go find her. so yes. what's the deal abt changing the programme? at the most just announce that there's a change. or dont let ppl know la. does it matter to strangers anyway?

this turned out to be longer than expected. but i wanna say....and i'm not afraid to say that...my heart will be with camp camp camp thruout this. i will never change my opinion of this. nEvEr. so too bad.

i shant say anymore. because i'll start crying again if i do.~