Wednesday, April 18, 2007

alright. time really flies. i've lived 18 years on this earth.

today is campaigning day for council. damn it. i should have just stayed at home. i was freaking bored and sian the whole time. what a day to spend a birthday. i want to thank those who wished me today. you all rock!! love ya! went out to eat lunch with yiling, before heading back for cca. coach made us play against each other. it was really fun cuz ppl were on fire and we were all screaming like mad. that helped me take my mind off things for a bit.

heys. i'm really sorry if my words have caused hurt to you in anyway. i didnt mean to direct it at you or anyone at all but it was how i felt that day. maybe i overreacted. but i was upset too. i don't want to lose a good friend like you. but i really have certain things going on now plus the stress from school... it's really taking a great deal out of me. and maybe it's affecting my way of dealing with situations and how i react to them, as i've told you earlier. so i'm really really sorry.

anne marie gave me a birthday card. omg! i love her so much! it's so nice! it really made me smile and brightened up my day. mom & dad gave me a card too. and upon reading it, i broke down. what they wrote was really touching and i couldnt hold back my tears. couple with the issues i've been trying to handle for the past few days, i couldnt take it. in this case, giving up is the only correct way to solve and end my unhappiness but is it so easy just to give up like that? no. it is said that time heals wounds. i hope so. but i'm at saturation point. i cant take any of this anymore. i really dont know what to do. guess that was why i broke down today. because of multiple things. i've been so unhappy these few days and no one can really help. probably one of the most unhappy birthday i've had so far. and i wish to go back to the carefree days in which nothing mattered.

well, meanwhile, outlets for forgetting my troubles are doing hmk, going to school (i have no life. lols). these few days, i dread going home, because my mind would unconciously drift back to thinking about everything. friends and work distract me from whatever i'm thinking of. and i really want to run away from all of this.

back to homework.~