damn it. i've caught some virus again. freak it. ergh. my throat is burning. i got it from my mom, who got it from me. i thought after someone recovers from a cold, they'll be immune to that virus? argh. whatever. i better not be sick on thurs. it'll spoil my whole trip to kl. anyway, i cldnt sleep last night. i rolled in bed from 11pm to 12 something then i finally fell asleep for the shortest time... only to wake up again. argh!! by the time i managed to get to sleep.. it was 3am i guess. so i woke at 11am today. and of course... my mood isnt good when i have such a disturbing night. argh. well.. at least an email from ghis who is right now at jurong island made me laugh. it was super lame. she was bored there and started crapping in her email. so lame!

anyway.. about ytD. was supposed to have ac og outing... but in the end... so many ppl pulled out at the last minute. bleahs. so only four of us were left. guan qun, christiana, nyssa and me. gq and i waited so long for the two to come... then we went to eat at new york new york at citilink. it's cafe cartel style... only more posh. the prices are okay. i ordered pasta.. since i cldnt eat anything fried because of my sore throat. christiana ordered this 30cm long sausage and the bread was abt 1/3 the length...so it looked really weird. and the coke float was so big... so sinful. lol.

we chalked up abt $82 worth of food... which was quite ok for 4 people. [and i know some people will disagree with me =)] lol. we were scaring gq abt someone following her... or maybe just happened to walk past citilink!! lol. anyway... after that we walked to esplanade to the library...cuz nyssa wanted to return books. was talking to her abt pl stuff... like... abt mr low and ms ferng. lol. gq and christiana were complaining abt going for their leadership camp...and hey... they're going to the same place as we went in sec3... and the same place that nj's going for yltc. they're going after nj leaves to canoe to another island. thank god i dont need to go. but i wanna go kayak tho.

we walked ard citilink.. to the super expensive paper shop where 1 diary costs $20+. and when i see them buying stuff..i think of ghis. damn it! how come she has so much influence on me?! but it's thanks to her that i'm not broke now. haha. yeaH. theN gq went home.. we went to raffles city to walk ard. gosh... looking at the prices of the items for sale... haha. maybe now i know why i'm in nj. because i'd be broke forever due to spending too much. haha. anyway...i went off first.. because i wasnt feeling too well.. stupid virus. well... it was nice to meet up with them again...after not seeing them for so long. gosh.. words cant express how much i miss the happy times tgt with them. well...sld really see the rest of my og soon. lol!

i give up. listen here. i totally give up caring about anything to do with you all. i've tried all i can out of pure concern. but since no one listens to me... from now on, 14 November 2006, i am not going to care what happens anymore. whether you all fail your exams or even fail in life... i am not going to care. i won't bother to call or even give a listening ear to whatever troubles you all are going through. since you all dont tell me stuff... and dont listen or even consider whatever i have to say... i'm not going to care anymore.

sure, you may say i dont understand anything you all are going thru. that's because you all dont make an effort to try to make me understand. which person doesnt have their own burdens in life? you think i don't? you think i'm one happy person as i portray to be? no. and life in jc isnt one big holiday either. having to juggle with the endless content based subjects, as well as CCA, and other commitments in school... but i still have to take it. i still have to take the stress. i cant just walk away from school altogether. although i wish too sometimes. because i know it's not going to get me anywhere. stop walking away from your problems. it's time to face it.

listen up. i will only give my time and effort to those whom i think deserve it. other than that... i dont really care anymore. in fact, i'm beginning to understand why some people want to leave. and i dont blame them. because i myself am entertaining those thoughts. what's the use if no one ever listens to one another or keeps problems from one another? it would just be another ordinary aquaintance wouldnt it?

no one bothers to meet up anymore. so why should i? sure.. i appreciate the fact that some to bother to arrange. but who actually tries their best to come? does everyone want to? or are some reluctant? whatever it is, i've given up all hope on some of you all. i dont give a damn whether you all fail as a person. i'll just be sad for you all .. but i wont do anything about it. whatever i feel is wrong, i'll just take it as it is. i will not bother to beg or persuade anymore. i've done enough.

sorry. i just had to get all of that out of me.~